Blunt

So I know I haven't posted on this blog in over a year. I've been busy with campus and running my personal blog I started last semester- uctrambles.wordpress.com- and haven't been very active on this one. So to make up for it and honour TBT here's a poem I wrote a while back: 

B L U N T

I won't lie. 

It physically pains me to see you with her. 

To see the way she doesn't mesh with you. 

She plays it off as shyness, but it can't be. 

You've been together long enough for shyness to have long buried itself and decayed. 

She doesn't get you. 

I can see it in your eyes. 

You're hesitant because of this. 

You laugh and she sits blank. 

You smile and she barely twitches the corners of her mouth. 

I can see it in your eyes. 

You look over to see if I'm laughing too- was the joke really funny? You think to yourself. 

It was. And I did laugh. 

You check to see if I'm smiling too- I am. 

But what you don't see is me dying. 

Dying at the sight of seeing you next to someone so bluntly unappreciative of your worth.

But I can't fool myself. 

After all you did choose her. 

But my mind is an archive. 

It plays the little moments and things over on a loop against the backs of my eyeballs. 

I recall every brush of your palm against my arms and shoulders. 

The way you did it ever so slight and yet I was intensely aware of it. 

How before her you would steal glances my way- staring. Intently. 

I thought it meant something. 

I recall the conversations we had (and how I hated you for starting one in the first place because it had a domino effect on me- I became persistent. A pest I'm sure, but I fell for you-hard, and could not stop gravity fast enough before I crashed)

And I recall the silly plans we made. 

Did it mean nothing?

Was it all for naught?

Why did you start something you had no intention of finishing?

To you it was nothing, to me it was everything. 

I'm in tune with my senses- every slight nonchalant thing is heightened.

Especially when my heart is set on it. 

And it was set on you.  

SaaraBee

S T O P _ feeling

Hey guys I thought I'd posyt this poem bc I seem to have arrived at #procrastinationstation ... oh well hope you guys like it. Note: this is also in support of Gaza #FreePalestine #EndIsraeliApartheid <3 #PrayForTheInnocents

S T O P _ feeling

Stop Feeling.
It's only children's bodies mangled and spread across a broken road of dreams.
Stop Feeling.
It's only acid rain of missiles of death machines.
Stop Feeling.
It's only mothers raped and dying in front of their children crying.
Stop Feeling.
It's only the media covering up the bloody truth and sharing a pleasant form of lying.
Stop Feeling.
But how can I stop when innocents are dying.
When the world is portraying the villains as victims and the victims as villains.
When society buys into a fabled, distorted view, a one sided vision.
Stop Feeling.
The rivers in Gaza are flowing innocent blood of youth.
The trees soak up the pain stained tears and grow truth.
And you tell me to stop feeling,
I think you should start feeling.
Start Feeling.
Smear away the propaganda infecting your eyes.
Unclog your brainwashed mind of lies.
Do you not see the uncle, brother, sister, mother?
As they lay, scattered in bits of pieces beyond reparation beside one another?
Start Feeling.
Do you see the oceans flood beyond the dams of strength in their tear ducts?
How an iron wall can fall instantly as a crumbled leaf in hands of destructive products?
Once an indestructible force disarmed in the stop of a heartbeat,
As a loved one becomes a fallen tree in defeat.
Start Feeling.
A blind eye you turn to a massacred forest.
Ignore the truth breathed out before they lay to rest.
Pretending to know what all is right and best.
Not noticing the ash of hopes burning in Gaza's (& Syria's) chest.
But maybe I am over-thinking.
Maybe their blood is a concoction of the lies we're drinking.
Maybe it's crazy to want peace and healing.
Maybe I should just Stop Feeling.
But let me tell you with each breath I breathe and each beat of my heart.
I will never stop feeling, but always continue to start.

-Saara M <3

The S T A R S are F A L L I N G

So here the 3rd and last (for the moment) of my poems in support of Gaza/Palestine. Pray for the Innocents (both sides). Pray for Freedom. Pray for Justice. Pray for Peace. <3

The S T A R S are F A L L I N G

"Mommy I'm scared", she whispers to me

A billowing echo inside of me

"The stars are just falling", I lull her to sleep

Suppressing my urge to break down and weep

The earth rattles under our feet

I rock her to dream as we face our defeat

Another shudder, shaking the ground

Tearing the silence and bursting with sound

She's in a safe place, a haven she's found

In dreamland, as the earth starts to pound

I hum & I hush her with tears streaming down

To this temporary life we have been bound

The soldiers are coming, my heart starts to thud

Their trampling feet nearing us in the mud

The clicking of boots and rattles of guns

Knocked down the door of the home we once loved

Bullets are flying in the room of rosebud

Spotting it's canvas with tear stained blood...

-Saara <3

P A L A C E | M I N E

Soo here is the 2nd of the 3 hope you like it and Pray for the Innocents, Pray for Freedom, Pray for Justice, Pray for Peace <3

P A L A C E | M I N E

The echoes of bombs all through the night,
Wailing loved ones far out of sight.
The world is silent as we dwell in this plight,
A one sided battle, a desperate fight.

Freedom, a whisper gone in the wind,
Up the high walls that we're contained in.
Hope still boils under our skin,
In our blood we spill in attempt to win.

Locked on a strip on old Palestine,
A land our forefathers claimed as 'mine'.
We offered salvation and were kind,
Oh, oppressors who now try to alter past time.

Our spirit wills us to strive to be free,
To break down your walls of insanity.
To live in peace and harmony,
Eradicate the injustice inflicted by thee.

-Saara :)

THE LAND BEFORE W|A|R

Hi readers bloggers and poeteers, yes it's been ages but lately I've been inspired by the turmoil of the current situation in Palestine and Gaza. I've written 3 poems thus far- which I'll be posting simultaneously- in support for the Palestinians who are being oppressed. Before I receive backlash let me clear things up: I do not classify all Jews as Zionists or Israeli oppressors. I wish for overall peace and to eradicate this Apartheid system in place and freedom for all the innocents (from both sides) who did not choose this hostility and oppression. Wars are toxic and cause feuds between citizens on a global scale not only national- inter-national- we are all humans and humanity is what is lacking their currently regardless of the religious rifts. Pray for all the innocents  and Pray for peace. <3

THE  LAND  BEFORE  W|A|R

Evergreen flowers & crystal clear air.

Replaced by heartache & bitter despair.

Laughter of kids & love without fear.

Consumed by panicked, massacred tears.

The children are dead. The love is too.

The crystal clear air is ravaged by fumes.

Filling our lungs. Choking on tears.

A losing battle over countless years.

Portayed as the villains, we lose all we loved.

While the enemy fire soak up the glory of our blood.

Our land is lost & our family too.

When will it end? & our skies return to blue?

-Saara :)

S | H | I | M | M | E | R | I | N | G S | U | N

It's been a while since my last post, but here is a new post of an old poem (From January) I wrote it while on holiday watching the sunset on the beach and felt inspired :)
It's short, but I don't really have much free time to write a new one. I decided to post again as we're starting our 'Poetry' lecture series in English. Hope you guys like it :)

S | H | I | M | M | E | R | I | N | G   S | U | N

Just as the shimmering setting sun, 

the day has burned away and my heart becomes so numb.

Opportunities were as full as its glow, 

but dimmed and bled the last of its splendour slow.

And so I stare with knowing eyes, 

admiring as they drift away and give way to the night.

Another day has ended so beautifully, 

yet I still sit somber having known its hours were wasted by me.

As I plan for our next meeting, 

I'm negligent of the moon and stars greeting.

Too busy to admire its magnificence, 
that I leave those opportunities as insignificant...

-Saara M.

Do you K N O W

 So I wrote this poem about an hour or so ago when my wifi was down and I was in an over thinking depressing mind set, I hope you like it or whichever :)up to you...

Do you K N O W

Do you know what it feels like,

To want to crawl out of your skin?

Do you know what it feels like,

To have so much to say but nowhere to begin?

Do you know what it feels like,

Living in a constant lie?

Do you know what it feels like,

To want to give up on life?

Do you know how it feels,

To just want to escape the world?

Do you know how it feels,

When your thoughts bleed in a whirl?

Do you know how it feels,

To be alone in a room full of familiar faces?

Do you know how it feels,

To remember the bad & the good's just empty spaces?

Do you know what it's like,

To be a constant disappointment?

Do you know what it's like,

To be the reason for another argument?

Do you know what it's like,

To be called insane by your own mother?

Do you know what it's like,

To be hated and despised by your brother?

Do you know the feeling,

Of being innocent but feeling guilty?

Do you know the feeling,

Knowing your path is clean, but think it's filthy?

Do you know the feeling,

Of bitter and harsh loneliness?

Do you know the feeling,

To think back of a time that had more bliss than this?

Can you understand,

Where I'm coming from?

Where I stand,

Being broken for so long?

Can you understand,

To always staying strong?

Refusing to give them the upper hand,

So you can prove them all wrong. 

 

-Saara